The most significant change in my draft after peer review was taking out quite of bit of information about a specific topic and focused more on a detail that was stated in my draft. I think it may of taken the "so what" out of my paper, always keeping in mind the genre.
One of the things that I had tried for the first time was cutting and pasting a portion of my conclusion and inserting it into the introduction. I'm pretty sure it's better read because of it. My introduction starts right into a story rather than dragging on about the topic itself. In a short paper, I think jumping right into a story is a way to catch the readers attention rather than dragging on about what your going to write about.
I think the aspect of this essay that makes me proud is that all the events and statements that I wrote about are fact. It is much easier writing about facts and details when you have lived and experienced it. I've also learned that it takes more than just a pen and pad of paper to create a final draft. For this paper, I have changed the context about ten times and I'm still contemplating whether I'm finished yet.
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